The vulnerability necessary to love

You can’t make someone stay.

Sometimes, you love someone with all your heart and want nothing more in return than them, pure and simple.

Sometimes you imagine someone in your future, as far as you can see, and the thought of having them in your life almost makes you giddy with joy.

But sometimes, you’re wrong.

Contrary to popular belief, love is not always enough.

A romantic relationship cannot function without love, but that does not mean that love is all it needs to function.

Sometimes people can love one another deeply, but there are so many reasons that a relationship can fall apart that has nothing to do with love.

Love might even end up being the reason things fall apart.

Everyone says that breaking up is hard to do. Whether you’re able to reconstruct a friendship out of the pieces, or you move on separate courses away from each other, in some way you always end up losing someone who you once wanted more than anything.

There isn’t any hard and fast way to deal with that.

Sometimes it feels like there isn’t any way at all.

Losing someone you love is pains in your chest that don’t ever seem like they’ll go away, it’s waking up in the wrong bed, it’s crying more than you ever thought possible, and it’s breaking down so completely that you don’t ever think you’ll recover.

But you will. You always do.

You keep waking up in the wrong bed and you keep getting out of it. You keep moving and breathing until your chest feels lighter, and you keep living until you begin to notice that you are still alive.

I don’t think there’s any use in diminishing the pain that comes from a breakup. Whether you’re 13 and have just been through a breakup with someone you dated for 3 weeks and you feel like you’ll never, ever love anything or anyone again, or you’ve fallen out of a relationship you’d been in for years and everything is quieter and more empty and you’re not sure anything will feel normal again, your pain is real. It matters.

It matters because for a moment, or a lifetime of moments, you cared deeply and fully about someone. In so many cases, love ends with heartbreak, and yet, you allowed yourself the vulnerability necessary to love.

And someday, in spite of it all, you’re going to do it again.